Tied together,
Refusing to relent
In the letting go.
Fear of loss superseded
The hope of what might be gained.
Belief in the foundation of
Old ties defined one's identity.
It is all I ever stood
Upon til He came.
It served me well enough
As long as I could
Muster the strength.
Nevertheless,
Every time I took a step
Toward the goal
Of perfection, my feet
Sank deeper into
A muck of duress.
Nonetheless...
Heart and soul between
Spirit and the eyes,
Longing unforgotten love,
I convinced my psyche
The possibility of two masters.
I knew one saw me
As weak, but perhaps I could be
Approved work if I just
Tried to
Obey the customs dictated
On my birth and my future -
On my femininity and my past -
On my abilities
(Or lack thereof).
Upon all that I am hadn't
It all been already revealed?
I groveled before
The expectations
Like a novel that perpetuates;
A desire proving a lack
In satisfaction.
I found the more I fought,
The windier my mind would twist.
I sought freedom.
Truth was
My soul was bound.
I could no longer compete
In the traditions of this world.
The standards determined
I could not complete.
And yet...
Within my stubborn stupor,
A voice spoke boldly,
"Quit your striving!"
Proceeding to cut me
Before I advocated
The defense of my efforts,
He succeeded to initiate
A new covenant fulfilled
No longer determined
By my doing.
"Enough blood has been shed.
Enough tears have been wept,"
This One said, "Come to Me."
I have since wrestled,
Moreover, I follow wholly.
Into a rest I could not create,
The Cross and Nails paved
The supplication demanded.
Traditions satisfied
For the supremacy of Jesus Christ
Fulfilled the justification of heaven
And forsook the law
Of the grave.
