Singed

Secret tears have fallen.
Scars carved remain hidden.
Emotions reveal an increasing tension;
A story told that may not be shared.
Yet, even if my mouth refuses
To utter the news,
You still know it.

Do I stand a chance
With the likes of Rocky?
I do not know how many times
I can fall, before I fail to return
To my feet, once more.
Must I beg for what I desire?

You said I wouldn't get burned,
But my clothes smell like smoke.
You said I was covered by Your hand,
But the hurricanes in life have hurled its growl.
The lions' mouths may have been shut,
Nevertheless, their claws came close.

The arrows of the night
Made their mark upon my brow.
Hope feels like it's been stolen
As fear haunts the memory
Of what was supposed to be joyful.
Can my grievances be redeemed?

Why, when the storms come,
It seems the wind and waves
Refuse to be still?
Am I to be like Job;
To go through hell
That heaven's face be seen?
Is this the agony
Many Christians feel
When beckoning for Your second
Coming to be revealed?

I know You 
Are sovereign, righteous, and good.
However, what is the deliverance 
You aim to achieve?
I know pain will be eradicated
In the second phase of Your salvation.
When you said that Your kingdom had come,
Will I be able to witness 
The fulfillment, even to an extent?

I need to find joy,
Believe in hope,
Stand in faith
And love in truth.
Help me, Jesus,
To refuse becoming a cynic -
Heal my mind from this trauma
That desires for my disappointment;
Compelling me toward destruction
In convincing me to believe something
Other than Your nature.
Help me to see Your face
In all of this.

(See Psalm 91 and 94; #PPDAwareness)