Last Tuesday, a former student of mine
died in a car accident. Later I learned
that he was hit by someone, in the early hours of the morning. The next day, I found out that another former
student was at fault, alcohol was involved, and they may have done it
deliberately. The family of the first
student stated that, while in court, the second student laughed while listening
to charges, and was given a bond. No
case, as far as I know. Another casualty
of the present law enforcement team considering the dire situation of a death
way too young to be experienced.
I am in mourning for the student who
passed away. He was only 20-years-old. A life ahead of him. A friend noted to me, that he was in the
works to be shooting for a movie. But
now, I will be going to his funeral, rather than renting a Red box DVD where is
one of the characters. I have always
said that I would rather go to my kids’ weddings, than to their funerals. But that is not the case, right now.
But I am also in mourning for the second
student. How does a parent feel if one
of their kids were killed by their sibling?
In some context, that is how I feel.
It would be different if the first student was killed by someone random,
however, that is not the case. The
nature of the two knowing one another makes us all question, “Why?” And alcohol is not enough of an answer.
Lastly, I mourn for the family. And in the mourning of the death of one of my
former students, I find myself grieving for a deeper reason. Since the news of my student’s death, social
media has lit up crying out for justice…but with a voice that resounds of vengeance. As a family member said, “I want [the killer]
to feel the same pain [they] caused.” I
understand the pain. I understand the sorrow. I understand the anger, but I’m leery to jump
and take sides, because I know there are offenses on all margins.
≈
“…Mercy triumphs over judgment (James
2:13)”
Note: The Bible doesn’t state that mercy
triumphs over justice. I do believe that the student who is at fault
should and needs to be held accountable for their actions. There does need to a thorough investigation,
and a trial, prosecuted with an upstanding court. However, at the end of the day, whether the
case comes or not, can the one who is guilty of murder be forgiven? Forgiveness seems like an outrageous solution,
considering all that has been done. “A life for a life, right? They are without remorse; let them feel the
pain they caused!” Nevertheless, I
hope that the family can forgive the one at fault for their boy’s death.
What if the second student had a personal,
hidden offense that drove them to do this?
I am not justifying the action. I
am only trying to show that an offense left unattended, and a hurt left alone
without the grace of Christ will only fester.
Jesus even said that if you hate your brother, you already committed
murder (Matthew 5:21-22). Why is
this? Because a hatred eventually leads
to murder of some sort, whether it be through slander (murdering someone’s
reputation) or physically (killing them).
Point is, whatever offense that the second student may have had, whether
it was perceived or actual, I hope that they can learn to forgive the person
who is now dead. Furthermore, I fear the
sense of hate might stir someone to do what had been done to them. I hope not.
However, I hope both the family and the murderer
can experience the forgiveness and love of God.
This is where I am going with all of this. According to God, sin is sin. If we commit one sin, we’re guilty of them
all (James 2:10)! We are the ones who put
weights and measures on certain actions, trying to portray our own
justification and righteousness. “If we have a reason, then it was okay to
do.” However, that isn’t the case, because when we hold onto offenses…even
the worst of ones committed (i.e. abuse, murder), we may drive ourselves to
continue the cycle of murder, rather than halting it. We become the very thing we are fighting.
But if I remember how much my own sin
grieves God…no matter how “little”, how can I hold onto the sin of the one who
hurt me? If God forgave me, could He…better
question, would He forgive them?
Second Peter 3:9 states that God doesn’t want anyone destroyed, but
rather that all would come to repentance.
Yes. God wants everyone – the good,
the bad, and the plain ugly to come to know Him, and to be forgiven of their
sins. He desires that none would perish.
The irony of holding onto grudges and
wishing pain on the enemies who have hurt me is that if they were to pay the
same price that they made me feel (even unto death), I probably will not be
satisfied. Granted I won’t be. Reality is, I could wish someone harm for
their offenses, but in truth, I just wish they were sorry. To add salt to a wound is to be without
remorse. And a death without an apology can
leave a desire perpetually unfulfilled. That is what hurts the most, and I
realize, aside from receiving the body of their son/brother/uncle/friend, it is
that the one who began all this pain, Tuesday morning, is not apologetic.
May I argue that forgiveness is not a substitute
for justice? As I said before, I believe
that the one at fault should be held accountable. Forgiveness does not mean that you are not
allowed to feel. It’s okay to grieve
over a loss, to be angered over the cause.
What is forgiveness? It is
letting go, and letting God, as the old proverb states. It is allowing Him to do the work that only
He can do, and trusting that He will right the wrong. It is learning to let go of the expectation
that your joy is dependent upon their repentance. It is loving a person who deserves all the
hatred in the world, rather than wishing them hell. Forgiveness is the letting go of a debt that
has eternal implications. It, in as of
itself, also impacts more than the temporary.
I pray for comfort and healing for the
families. I pray that mercy can be shown
to the guilty. I pray that my second
student does become remorseful, but in such a way that leads to repentance,
rather than a sorrow that leads into a dark shame. I have lost one student to death, but there
is time for the second to find redemption.
Even if the freedom is found only in their soul, behind physical bars, I
still desire for that freedom. Lastly, I
want Jesus Christ’s name glorified in this painful situation. Whatever death
that Satan meant to stir up, it ends here and now. Amen.
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