The Wildnerness of Anxiousness

Can you say,

“I love you,”

When I am unlovable?

Can you hold me

When my frustrations flails

Through the tip of my tongue,

Bearing down blades that cut.

If not careful, you may shed blood.

If you are not aware, you will not see

How may scars I have already borne to my own.

I know I am not perfect.

I know that I should be content with this fact.

But I am not.  I still seek

That I may do the right thing,

And stop failing in trying.

I feel so alone.

Does anyone actually understand?

Or are the intensity of my emotions

The root of lack of sleep;

Excuses to make mountains

Out of mole hills?

I look left when I should go right.

I take two steps backward,

Instead of moving forward…

I hate myself for it.

And I hate myself for hating myself.

Sorry for the confusion I cause.

Sorry for the mess I stir up,

But all I’m trying to do is fight

The accusations that penetrate my mind.

It’s not enough.

I’ve never been enough…

The faster I run, the more holes I fall

In the name of justification.

I keep circling.  

All I want to do stop playing

Ring-a-round-a posies

With anxiousness; when will it end

Determining my identity?

I am hurt.

I have been healed, but I am now asking,

When will I finally get

To be completely whole?