What I Wish I Could Say (To My Mother)

What can I say to you, Mother, Muti, Mom, Madre? The journey since my birth until now have ebbed in ways counted in moments of lessons only learned by walking with one another.  Only until now, have been able to understand what I once was blind to.

The second our faces met, new life - a new chapter formed  a new curvature to your being as your womb knitted my existence.  Staring down fear, you dared to keep me when abandonment threatened...

You carried me more than I could know; sang lullabies more than I could list.  You bore me more than the minute I entered earth; spoke holy utterances over me more than what can be accounted.

And yet, I have a feeling that you are unaware  of the value you hold…“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of all?”

As you are:

Gifted by the One  who gives only good gifts, you have a mind full of hopes, dreams and passions.  Often laid aside, seating your loves in positions pursuing callings, yet failing to follow.  It’s time to rise, Mom.  Gratitude bursts upon the breath  I found on your breast.  Yet…You are more than the chord binding yourself to me.  Something lies dormant  waiting to release into full bloom.

Unseen beauty yet to beheld.  Gentle strength found in a delicate caress of fingers; a countenance shares stories filled with unmentioned tears; laughter that requires a second wind.  A bob in the head that beats with the music, and a booty that knows how to groove in every moment of joy.  After thirty years, Dad’s still got the hots.  I swear, he does more now than when you first said hello.  

I know you warn me to not become like you.  However, there is so much of you in me.  Looking at my reflection, it’s not hard to find the roots of the tree from which my apple fell.  A love so deep that has no boundaries; a loyalty tested true.  A song ever on my lips, and a boldness to be amused and make it known.  Imagination and creation flow through us: you with the needle and thread; I with my pen and lens.  Like mother, like daughter.  It isn’t so bad.

So, as you receive your congratulations on this day, know that I am so thankful to you, being my mother.  Furthermore, take hold of the gift you are as the woman God made you to be in all of His fullness.  There is a grace that covers you, veiling a masterpiece He is continuing to form in you. With or without me by your side, forever bound by a chord; know that you are most cherished.

Ich liebe dich, Muti  (I love you, Mom),

Laura Emily.