Letting Go and Let Growth

     To love someone unconditionally...to embrace them in the good times, as well as in the hard times...sometimes it means letting go.  Letting go in a way that gives the room for a person to either grow or leave, on their own volition.  So often, we keep people close that we should rather give space, because we think that is the loving thing.  However, in keeping that closeness, we simultaneously refrain from putting up boundaries that would cultivate true safety in a relationship, and instead, bend to their behavior thinking our understanding, accommodating and 'care' is somehow going to inspire change.  However, the opposite often results.
     We enable the bad behavior and allow room for it to stay when we fail to take a stand.  I think I am finally realizing the truth in how one cannot love others if they do not know how to love themselves first.  Biblically, "love others as you love yourself (Matthew 22:39)".  Frankly, if we are trying so hard for the unhealthy to be removed while simultaneously trying to keep the person, we end up controlling them.  And when that doesn't work. resentment will build.  So often we want the good to happen that we try to force it prematurely, rather than wait for what God has.
     Learn to let them go, and let them have what they want.  They will either continue their downward spiral or come to realize any error and change.  But in letting go, you also realize how there may have been a personal error in trying to force someone to become what/who they weren't ready or desiring to be.  And how is it loving to mold them into your image and box?  So often we try to control things that only the Holy Spirit can change.  When we step into the cycle of nagging or codependency, I believe that we then have elevated the other person to the level of God, demanding that they are the ones ultimately responsible for our happiness or fulfillment in life.