I Am Deadpool

     I am Deadpool.  
     Okay.  Not literally.  But boy...after watching Deadpool and Wolverine, did I get a reality kick in the heart.  How often have I desired to do something great?  Inspirational?  Make a difference in the world...only to continually feel like I'm out of place or not fitting in?  But more so...and this is what Happy was getting at - how often have I sought after the glory of greatness, in an effort to promote my importance?   
     Like Deadpool, I have sought for assignments and effort to prove to myself my own worth.  Sure, I wanted to save the world from it's own damnation.  But...it wouldn't hurt to have a minor credit that I helped make it happen.  Or so, I thought.  I mean...sure...I cared about the world.  Want the best for them.  But also...I wanted to know that I made my impact.  That this life wasn't just wasted.  That I did something that meant something.  
     Funny thing about that mindset is that often we overlook the little blessings in our lives.  We forgo doing certain acts of kindness for "better opportunities", because of the "need" to fill our love buckets.  Or worse, we can do EVERY act of kindness and then get butthurt, because no one thanked us for it.  Gratitude is appreciated, but it can become a curse when the giver requires it as a debt. 
     If there is one thing I am gradually learning about life and love...it isn't necessarily about me.  It's not about how the world can service my needs or ego...it's about how I can love others.  The Avengers probably wouldn't have needed me, either.  I would go in helping in every single mission, wanting the best outcome.  But if the best outcome didn't require my assistance, my ego would be devastated.  And that's the problem.  My pride can be my Achilles heel.  If everything I do is to build my own glory, then who is receiving the service of my actions?  
     Me.
     I am serving me.
     But it isn't about me.  It's about others.  It's about putting others above myself.  It's learning to rest in the love that God already pours Himself out for me, and knowing that nothing can remove His heart for mine.  When I stand in His affirmation, I don't have to serve the world for my gain.  And with that realization, I don't have to be a super hero.  Maybe the greatest acts I can do, is be present for the people and tasks laid in front of me.  No matter how little my name may be known or remembered.  

Image from Google