I have been in a
kind of slump off and on at work. One
week I may be doing well, but by the next week, my emotions and mental state
are stretched close to a breaking point due to the different factors of stress
that is involved. There are times I want
to quit. There are times I wish I could
curl up in a ball, and have God rescue me from whatever hellish experiences I
might be having. Over the course of my
first year teaching, I have realized that there are so many weak areas of my
personal being, that I often feel crushed when adversity comes my way. And it runs at me with vengeance.
“God, where are
You?” What the heck are You doing with
me; with this place I’m in?” My
questions echo that of King David from the first half of the Psalms. Rightly so.
There are many a days I reflect on how the day went, and I wonder what
went wrong, what did. Most often the
wrong part, because I often struggle getting everything right. I practice other methods that teachers show
me, and somehow, it can still fail me. I
try to be exuberant, and the kids are more put off by it, rather than
intrigued. Either God better fix things
right away, or I give up. At least, that
is how I often feel.
Last Sunday, I was
reading through the Psalms, and like most mornings, I was yearning for those
verses that would relay that I’m not alone.
Even found one, “…He preserves the souls of the saints; He delivers them
out of the hand of the wicked.” – Psalms 97:10.
However, if I allowed my eyes to align with the honesty of my heart, the
first line of the first verse was what cried out to me. “The Lord reigns.” The Lord reigns. Whoa. Stand still.
Out of all the commiserative groans I quietly wailed through the edge of
my pen, I was told that the Lord reigns.
That He is King.
I wonder how often
I see Jesus as King. Or do I just see
him as the Savior of my soul and be on my way?
Not that I am not grateful for what His blood did for my soul, but when
I see how the world is made up, I often become a middle-weight boxer facing a
heavy weight. Not strong enough, and so
I should just jump out of the ring. I
stand on rock, sure. But only if there
is a house to shade me from any horrendous storms of life. If I was truly honest, though I believe in
the salvation from sin, I still become weary at times of the circumstances on
earth. I treat God more like a Prince
Charming, ready to save His damsel in distress, rather than the king He
is. I will be the superhero making a
difference in this world, God will be my sidekick. So, what happens when my weaknesses are blatant
for all to see? That no matter what
methods or skills I use, they crumble against the wiles of the enemy? If God is just my Prince Charming, only there to save me when I am in a
pinch. Only there to make me feel all googly
inside, then my idea of God has failed me.
I need a king. I need a king, because I cannot save
myself. Yes, this is easy to say,
because we, as Christians often point to the status of our souls. But that is not the only thing in my life
that is wanting of salvation. Every
single aspect of my life is yearning for the redemption of Christ to come to
fruition. I yearn for healing, I yearn
for families, for education to be meant something; I yearn for peoples’ identities
to be renewed. And I absolutely am not
the superhero that people need in their lives.
I can’t do it. I can’t do
it. And if I think that a moment of
Prince Charming God is all that it’ll take to fix everything, then I need to
reflect on my own life and realize that happy endings don’t come as easily as
in the fairy tales. A king whose
sovereignty reigns is needed.
Thing is, we have a
king who reigns. I am beginning to
question the sovereignty of my own strength, because I see its tendons stretch
and bend, breaking with the pressure of daily storms. But then, I am back to God being my
sidekick. Only there when I can’t handle
it. No.
The Lord reigns. The implication
is different. His sovereignty reigns,
His lordship reigns. We can look back to
the Genesis account of how everything was questioned and put into disarray, but
then fast-forward, Jesus came and realigned, pouring out His blood and body, so
that we, the creation made in the image of God could be claimed once again
under His name. However, salvation is
not just for our souls, but it’s also for the redemption of this world until a
new one is made.
“For the creation
was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it
in hope, because the creation itself also delivered from bondage of corruption
into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans
and labors with birth pangs together until now.
Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even
we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the
redemption of our body.” – Romans 8:20-23
Furthermore – and this
is the best part – the payment has already been paid in full with Jesus. His sovereignty is still established, and
therefore, as king – and one that reigns – we can claim His authority now on
earth. “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be
done on earth as it is in heaven.” I am
letting God, who is already, and always was the heavy weight running champion
go against the heavy weight struggles of life.
He is the Lord who reigns, and He has already won. What more could I do to achieve the
redemption and transformation this earth needs?
Will life be easy? No. There are still matches that will be thrown at us. Hardships will be pelted our way. But God has done marvelous things; His right hand and His holy arm have gained (PAST TENSE) the victory. The Lord has made known His salvation; His righteousness He has revealed in the sight of nations (Psalms 98:1-2). God has ALREADY gained victory in the – and I will claim, all – areas of life. He is not the sidekick that we bring along when we need a little bit of help. He is the Lord, the king who reigns. We follow His charge, knowing whatever struggles we face, they have already been conquered (Romans 8:37-39).
On a last note, I
found this realization of Him being King last week. I don’t know if I fully understand this
concept. I hope so. But I always had a tendency to want to do
things on my own. Letting God do the
work, without my hand leading the efforts, is a new pitch I have to master.
