This Adulterous Heart

I have hurts and wounds Leaving me broken. I have hidden secrets Meant to be mend; Independently Strength portrayed in the light, However, in the unseen hours, There are weaknesses  I dare not reveal.

Yet, I desire in the deepest

Uttermost of my being,

To bare my soul to another.

Yet, I find none willing

To bear my soul

Unconditionally.  

Gomer has forgotten

Her Beloved, 

Once again.  

I have proclaimed things

I have found I didn’t believe.

I have advocated

When I didn’t fully receive.

I bury my pain

In the name of greater glory

Of serving thine neighbor.

I dare carry those who struggle;

I will bear them,

But I dare not admit

I fight the same battles as they.  

Shadows cower the hopelessness

I shudder to confess.

How can You be here,

And yet so far away?

My body wishes to see

Your face and feel Your touch.

I would not wander

If You were near.

So I say.  

There are lies that even my own

Mind failed to recognize.

My spirit knows You are truth,

But my heart fails to trust You.

In public, I will gladly hold Your hand,

In the midst of week’s waiting,

My sorrow weakens me for the yearning

Solicited and wakened by emotions

Dormant in the light of time 

When things can be seen.

Dare I admit that I wish 

My soul could become naked?

My Hosea, You say I can with You.

In the quiet of the night,

I feel a weight I cannot bear;

I hear nothing but my own words -

Your words have started to fall flat.

A song is a mere tune.

I long to be loved and held.

In my discouragement and weariness,

I fail to run to You.

I am weak. I have needs.

Seeking for a quick solution,

I am prone to run after

Other lovers -

Worship idols -

To the demise of my own heart,

And to the breaking of Yours.

I have walked by sight

Far too long.

Help me 

To live 

By faith,

Continually.

Redeem this adulterous heart.

I know You love me.

Quicken the gap of separation;

I want to receive You,

My love.