“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but what is proper for a woman to profess godliness - with good works. Let a woman learn quietly in all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather that she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through child-bearing - if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self control.” -1 Timothy 2:9-12
If there were Scriptures that I would be tempted to rip out of my Bible with just as much fervor as anyone from the LGBT community would concerning sexual immorality, these would be the ones. Sorry. A Chrstian shouldn’t admit that, should they? But God knows the thoughts and feelings I have, so better to be honest and wrestle with the verses that aren’t just challenging, but, in my personality, downright don’t like. Honestly, I don’t get what it is with the argument that women should be silent. What is wrong about letting a woman speak in church? God is not an arbitrary God. If He dictates something, then there is a reason for it. He is God; but He is also good, just and logical.
But in a post-feminist world, where women have fought to have the rights that every man is enabled to enjoy, defining the influence of godliness and culture sometimes is harder to find. I know some may argue, “The Bible says women should be silent, so there!” But honestly, I think it’s more complex than that. Because in Scripture, I have found examples of women who were not silent. So, what gives? Should women be silent, and if so, when? If women can speak, when may that be? Overall, this is a charged subject, because as a Christian, I want to know my purpose. Furthermore, as a woman - what does that look like for me? I’ll be frank. I am an egalitarian/complementarian. From my perspective, I think women can do ministry even in front of the church, but it can never be done in exclusion of men and their giftings. Men and women together bring the gospel to the world.
Let’s approach this from the perspective of the woman’s role, detailed in the Bible. In Genesis 2:18-23, we see that Adam was doing his stewardship duties when God saw something for the first time on Earth, and said it was not good. This is the point in time when all the women shout, because Eve entered the universe. She was meant to be a helpmate for Adam. Purposed in carrying the stewardship and having a relationship with God. Note that she did not come to replace Adam. She is to work beside him. According to Ephesians 5:22-26, men are the head of the household and a woman is to submit to her own husband. The end. Closed book. That’s all there is to it.
But it isn’t. Because in reading the Bible, I saw that there are multiple examples of women speaking. Furthermore, in our society, there are examples when women were helpmates and men who abused their position of authority. I really do mean to stand biblically. I can cite the historical evidence that in the first church, there were some women shouting during the services (thus creating the chaos mentioned in the 1 Corinthians 14 passage), but since there isn’t a book on early church beginnings beside Acts, there is much to deduce otherwise.
I believe that women can share things, even publicly at church. Nevertheless, there is a context for it all. The Hebrew word for helpmate (ezer) is the same to describe the Holy Spirit’s work. So, in the help it must be active, not passive. Now, we ladies must not take this too far and think we can change our men as the REAL Holy Spirit does the work of changing hearts. But we must understand that our assistance for men is active, not passive. Forgive me if I misunderstood Scripture, but if women were 100% silent, how could they be the helpmates they need to be?
Sure, we help take care of the homes. We teach kids, give input, support, comfort. We cheer and encourage. But in no way are we on the bench. In the Bible, I have found women who were prophetesses (such as Miriam (Exodus 15:20) and Anna (Luke 2:36)). I found a judge who helped in leading a war (Deborah, Judges 4-5). I found a woman, who beside her husband, taught doctrine (although, it was over a dinner conversation; Priscilla (Acts 18)). I found women who had to be vocal in standing for their families’ plights (Abigail (1 Samuel 25:1-42), Esther, and Ruth).
In observing healthy marriages, I found that women give input to their husbands’ thoughts. I know that husbands are the head. This sounds so last century, but God DID set this up. As misogynist as this may appear, it is logical. It is hard to lead a house if there are two chiefs. On some things they will disagree, and at some point, if there is not someone making the final say, then the mission gets divided, and worse, aborted. This is why submission is vital. It means to come under one mission. Not blind obedience. As first (help)mates, women are to hear the mission, the choices in how to run the ship, and as the neck (thank you, Big Fat Greek Wedding), communicate that to the rest of the body. Marriage is the on-earth representation of Christ and the Church. The Church does not take the place of Jesus in sharing the gospel. We are the conduit. Jesus remains the head. As for men to be picked for this role…because Adam came first. He was given the duty to share his mission with Eve, and thereby, provide the head role.
But what of women being silent? Not to have authority over a man? As much as I have already written, it really doesn’t matter if I do not address the Scriptures in question. As for those who take the approach that women shouldn’t teach/preach at church, many would say that women can still be on the worship team, help with hospitality, children (sometimes, youth) ministry, prophecy, and teach women’s conferences. Just can’t be on the pulpit when it’s co-ed. With so many positions that a woman can help, it would be a wonder, as to why this is an issue.
Honestly, I think it’s a matter of position. It is a matter of history. It’s a matter of men failing in their God-given roles. I can understand the issue that women were supposed to ask their husbands to clarify biblical things instead of shouting out. It is a common thing for individuals, couples and families to discuss points taught and preached in a church. As for me, when I have questions about something my pastor said, I will text him my question and he will later answer it. I honor his position, and I still get things clarified. But if I chose to start yelling, I would disrupt the service and the ability for others to learn about God. So, it makes sense to stay silent and ask later. 1 Corinthians 14:33-35 can be seen as a circumstantial situation within its context. Paul doesn’t just say that women should be silent. He later explains that these women were vocal, because they wanted to learn. It was just that at the time, it was being done in a disorderly way. Frankly, it is the 1 Timothy reference that can stop me in my tracks, and honestly, I have skipped reading 1 Timothy just so that I don’t have to be offended. So, if it offends me, I must confront things.
I get that women should be modest in their dress (1 Timothy 2:9). There is no reason to show off the goods, physically or economically (historians state that some women in the church were bragging about their status through their dress). But what of teaching and exercising authority? I guess my immediate response is “What is wrong with a man to learn something from me?!” However, there is a key phrase. Women should quietly learn with all submission (vs. 11). Am I really willing to learn with a heart of humility and submission, or am I focused solely on where I can stand in the church?
The phrase “to have authority over a man” catches my eye. The Greek word for authority (authentein) is “to take authority on one's own accord”. In other words, to usurp the authority that is in position. I think that perhaps it would still be okay to speak as long as the pastor invites a woman. Opponents will break my hopes, however, because “teach” in the same verse means the same thing in the Greek.
Advocacy for women’s voice in the church primarily concerns itself with the position. Complementarians state that women are to have explicitly different roles than the men. Egalitarians state that women can do any role that a man can. But men and women are different. And we play critical roles. I liken serving in the church the way the Vikings had fought. In Viking culture, the men and women fought. In battle, the men fought on the front lines, using swords for intense combat. The women, as snipers, would be in the back of the fields, sitting on horses, bow in hand shooting at the enemy. The women are vital, but stand at a different position.
I have had to ask myself, is the position of the podium all I care about? In a post-feminist world where it has become that women can and should do everything a man can, it is easy to see the papacy just another area to conquer. I have had to ask myself, why do I feel like I should be given a voice? And explicitly, in front of a congregation. Because frankly, if I am not humble and not willing to learn, then why the heck should I be allowed to share my thoughts to a congregation? My first slam into a brick wall was one of realization of the pride in my own heart. And fear. And trying to prove my worth.
I said that women pushing for the pulpit is a matter of position, but of also history. The feminist movement was birthed out of a lack. Husbands who claimed to know God became abusive. Citing women’s submission, they declared that their wives should agree and listen to every. single. sentiment. Women were told to be silent. Have sex on command (i.e., spousal rape). Don’t worry about education; just be a wife and mother. Moreover, as time progressed, women felt the continual pressure that their purpose in life was to become a wife and mother. They were to look forward to nodding and agree without question. But hurts were made, questions not answered, voices unheard, gifts told to stay hidden. We failed to have the heads of our households covering, and so by the 1970s, many women jumped on the bandwagon that we can do without men.
The cumulation of the argument speaking in churches comes from a multi-faceted aspect that translates faith, culture, society, as well as personal wounds. I wonder if this would be an issue, if we had fathers and husbands who served and not lord over their families. Would there be such a fight over rights if safety in protection of the home was assured? I recall a scene from Little House on the Prairie: The episode was exploring the women’s right to vote. Pa explained that although, he personally didn’t think it was needed, because he and his wife discussed everything in an honorable fashion, nevertheless, in the case of women who did not have a voice to represent them, they needed to represent themselves. Here’s the moral: where there is covering, there is no need for a fight. The rights are already assured.
Maybe I am all for having a voice in church, because I am realizing that as a woman, I found myself in a position where I have had to speak up for myself. And although I am growing in trusting in God, there are still moments where He still would have me speak even though I wish He could fix things on His own. I am a woman who is tired of feeling like the only purpose I can have is to be a wife and mother. What does that say for women who, like me, find themselves without a husband? Should I rush into a marriage just so I can get on my way? Or can I serve God, even without a man by my side?
I am tired of women’s ministry talking about the same dang thing. There is more to life than romance. Frankly, I read the men’s devotionals on the YouVersion app, because the men will talk about a wider variety of topics that apply to Christians than the women’s section. This needs to change.
I don’t want to claim that I’m supposed to be a pastor, but I have thoughts and impressions that I feel may need to be shared to encourage those toward Christ. Yes, being a woman, I am more apt to connect with girls and other women. But when I write, will men feel offended that I am sharing something that they can learn to be a better individual? I promise that I am not meaning to take away their God-given authorities.
If you made it this far, and are still wondering how I stand on the issues of women in the church, here they are:
1. Pastors should be men. This parallels with men being the head of the household. Wives of pastors should be honored, and I don’t have much of a position of women being co-pastors, aside that maybe the wives should be an example of Christ and can help assist in ministry.
2. I think a pastor can enroll women to other parts of ministry. I think he can invite a woman to share on a topic at church, if he believes that the congregation will benefit from the message.
3. If a woman’s message is degraded only because of who shares it, and not what it actually states, I think it’s out of place. If the same message would be shared by a man and well-received, why then ignore the message, because it was brought by a woman.
4. Back to pastoral leadership, if a godly man is not available, either by time or is nonexistent, a woman pastor is okay. This shouldn’t be the norm, but I would much rather have a congregation grow in Christ under a godly woman than die under an absent or ungodly man.
5. The podium is not the goal. And if one is speaking on a given Sunday, they must check their heart that they are sharing something to prove and degrade, but to encourage and edify the body. If a message is down putting the callings of anyone that God has given, then it is out of line.
6. Women are more than their relationship status. How, when, and where they serve Christ is going to differ for each woman as it differs from every man.
7. If a church does not want a woman to speak behind a podium, I need to deny my pride and be okay with that. In 1 Peter 3:1-8, a woman can be an example of Christ, and that is one way to show Christ. Sometimes, women feel we must have a say on every topic, but that is not necessarily always the case. As women, we need to learn to trust God to do the work, and then invite us to participate. Sometimes prayer is all that is needed for influence.
8. Ministry is a co-ed deal. Women want to be involved, but ladies, we can’t forget the men.
I want to take a short moment to stand on that last point. As women, as much as we can be fed up with the pig-headedness of men, the fact is, God made each and every one of them. He has relationships with them, and they are called the same. We cannot do this without men. It is not good for man to be alone. But it is not good for woman to be alone. We bring our femininity; they bring their masculinity. That being said, in this post-feminist world - where gender differences and gifts are being forgotten and lacking definition, we need Christian men to rise up and take their place. They need to lead in love like Christ. Our children need their fathers; our homes require their coverings; and it is upon men that God bestowed this mantle. Please carry it well. Much of the Church’s generations have become orphaned due to abuses and neglect. Men and women…together…guard the home.
