Most Excellent One

Jesus: The Name above all Names; Whose majesty Exceeds that of any King.  You are The Lord over all things.

You are holy.
Righteous, completely
Good. You are
Truth in its purest form.
I can seek You
And know
I can trust Your words.

You are faithful.
From the beginning
Of my first breaths
To the end of days,
You have not ceased
To fulfill Your declarations.

You seek
That I may know
You are the God who redeems.
Your throne was unapproachable;
Yet You designed a Way
That my sin be cleansed;

My personage covered
By a Holy Crimson
Spilled in my place.
In Your justice,
You pursued me
To repentance
That I may obtain mercy.

My shame has been removed.
Once an enemy,
Now a friend.
My presence once brought
A stench, now it brings
An aroma.
An antagonist, now Your child.
I can come
Before Your presence.
What glory to Your grace!

And the earth cries out
For its Creator:
“All honor to Your Name,
Praise be to Thee!”
Jesus, You are
Our salvation,
Our magnificence,
Our hope and joy.
This day
Until we breathe our last,
We worship You,
Most excellent One!

Selah.

Liquid Prayers

You hear My prayers Even when They are Only Tears.

When words
Fail
To express
Silent mutterings
Of the soul,
Streams
Down my face
Communicate
The sorrow
Beheld.

You know it
Altogether,
As my Father.
As my King,
You are able to hold
The concern in Your heart.
As my God,
You are the One
Who can orchestrate
This troubling pain
To the glory of Your name.

Sometimes death’s shadow
Isn’t what brings fear;
Rather, it is the sting
In life that makes hope trepidatious.
Nevertheless,
Whether it is among the graveyard
Or a moment’s breath,
You remain near.

You have not forgotten
Me.
You have numbered
My tears.
You continue to lead
Me.
And where do I run, but to
You?
Whom can I hide in, besides
You?

As my eyes
Continue to be strained,
Come quickly!
Renew my joy!
Comfort is temporary,
Unless it is in Your presence,
Jesus.

A Prayer for Struggling Marriages

     Married life has come with its fresh life lessons.  Much of it has been seeing things in myself I never realized, and seeking God's heart on the matter. It has been well.  However, while my husband and I are learning to love and be united, there have been multiple marriages around us - in our own church- which are suffering.  Not just going through hard times; but divorce is tempting, and for one, is being seriously considered.  It's discouraging to say, in the least.  The following poem is my prayer for these marriages.  It is also a prayer for mine that we would continue to choose one another, rather than turn away.

Defying Dissolution
Covenant  bonded
One another's hearts
Together.
Matrimony promised
A forever love
Felt within emotions
And guarded by a daily
Commitment
To never say, "Die,"
Before death had its cut
Of one's breath.

What happened 
In those moments?
What fears were haunted;
What anger left to stew
In days, months, and years -
Convinced one or the other
That to part
Was better
Than to hope?

Is it true that love
Will never cease?
Is it possible to persevere
To know and be known,
Desiring to stay by 
Each other's side
Rather than denounce
Your other half as the enemy?

Is it true that the vows
Can remain honored,
A heart unaltered
By the tumultuous
Temptations of life?
That to fight means
To fight
FOR
One another,
Seeking to serve,
To benefit
And to love
The other 
More than
The self.

Please put aside
The offenses that seek
To divide what God has made
To fit together.
Why must we say,
"The end," before He has said,
"It is finished"?
After all, can we claim
We have a better way
When, perhaps,
God's best is
THE ONE
Whom He joined us
Together?

I pray for you,
My dear friends.
I hope you can see
One another
With fresh eyes
And a heart filled
With the love
That even Christ has for
His beloved.
May your marriage be
Repaired, renewed;
Made firm in the wholeness
That only Jesus can bring.

Please do not give up.
Please do not plead
For the end.
Perhaps, there can be
A new beginning,
If we are willing
To dare to hope. 

In His Hands

He’s got the whole world In His hands. He’s got the whole world In His hands. He’s got the whole world In His hands. He’s got the whole world in His hands.

My sleep is robbed of its rest.
My mind tormented from daily,
Worrisome festered wounds.
Is it possible to breathe?
Is it probable to sing again?

You say the flowers are in Your care
And the sparrows in Your sight.
Convince this heart to lay aside
The burden too heavy to bear.

May this lamb draw near
The Water that brings Life.
In the shadow of what haunts,
You tell me there’s nothing to fear.
When You prepare a table
Promising Your goodness and mercy,
And the devil assumes a seat,
You carry me as a shepherd would,
In the midst of one intent to kill.

You have the whole world
In Your hands.
You have the whole world
In Your hands.
You have the whole world
In Your hands.
You have the whole world in Your hands.

If only I kept my eyes upon
The One who never becomes blind!
Doubt encompasses my heart
As waves engulf my soul.
Do not let me sink!  I beg You!
Your mind is not as my own,
Yet, in the storm, You remain
Sure and steadfast.
I beseech You; lead me!

I know not where I will be led,
But I know of Whom I ask:
Who holds my hand and never lets go.
Faithful and true; intimate, yet Your foresight vast
Beyond the measure of time and space.
In my pain, I shall praise in my lack.
Questions inquired, You are my Answer.
You bear the weight that was my own,
Inviting me to rest in Your embrace.

You have the whole world
In Your hands.
You have the whole world
In Your hands.
You are good and sovereign
And I will choose
To put my trust in You.

Source material:
*Psalm 23; Matthew 6:25-34; 11:28-30; 14:22-31
* “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands,” African-American Spiritual, 1927.

I Wonder if Love Is

I wonder if...
Love is more than
Correcting someone,
Informing them how to
Love me better
And making me
Comfortable.

I wonder when
I say
"I love you,"
It is more than
A response to
Fuzzy feelings.

Rather, it is
The intent
To communicate
"I care for you,
For you."

Letting Go and Let Growth

     To love someone unconditionally...to embrace them in the good times, as well as in the hard times...sometimes it means letting go.  Letting go in a way that gives the room for a person to either grow or leave, on their own volition.  So often, we keep people close that we should rather give space, because we think that is the loving thing.  However, in keeping that closeness, we simultaneously refrain from putting up boundaries that would cultivate true safety in a relationship, and instead, bend to their behavior thinking our understanding, accommodating and 'care' is somehow going to inspire change.  However, the opposite often results.
     We enable the bad behavior and allow room for it to stay when we fail to take a stand.  I think I am finally realizing the truth in how one cannot love others if they do not know how to love themselves first.  Biblically, "love others as you love yourself (Matthew 22:39)".  Frankly, if we are trying so hard for the unhealthy to be removed while simultaneously trying to keep the person, we end up controlling them.  And when that doesn't work. resentment will build.  So often we want the good to happen that we try to force it prematurely, rather than wait for what God has.
     Learn to let them go, and let them have what they want.  They will either continue their downward spiral or come to realize any error and change.  But in letting go, you also realize how there may have been a personal error in trying to force someone to become what/who they weren't ready or desiring to be.  And how is it loving to mold them into your image and box?  So often we try to control things that only the Holy Spirit can change.  When we step into the cycle of nagging or codependency, I believe that we then have elevated the other person to the level of God, demanding that they are the ones ultimately responsible for our happiness or fulfillment in life. 

Led by Love

     Recently, I feel like God has been teaching me how not to be led by fear, but by love.  A couple days ago in my Bible reading time (and having then read about the fear of the Lord), a curious, but very impactful thought came to my mind.  When we are afraid, is it a sort of reverence for the problem or concern?  Beth Moore has once said that we can make something into an idol even when we obsess or fear it.  It's the matter that we fear - or give reverence - before the precedence of Jesus. 
     We can be so fearful, intimidated, that we choose not to do something when we should.  This is why fear (the bad kind) is counter to love.  Because by having a reverence (or, in other words, an awe; think being awestruck...what are we struck in awe over?) for the problem, it runs counter to the heart of God.  Reverence and a fear of God helps release control and puts a full trust in Him.  It's a holy fear that actually draws people near, and encourages us to reach out to others.  But when we are led by a worldly fear, it takes the opposite affect.  In giving control (power) to the problem, we become a slave and retreat. 
     We all will fear something or someone.  But to whom or what we fear will determine who we will give control over.  It is a lie to think we'll ever be the one to be in total control.  We are never big enough to handle our storms , and that is why we need to be anchored to Jesus.  And we don't have to be afraid when we fear (have an awe, reverence)  Jesus, because we are willingly giving control to the One who we know is true, righteous, just and good.
     Fear is a reverence and a form of worship, and it will come either as adoration or intimidation.  Intimidation will tell us to hide our faces; deceiving us to believe that we can protect ourselves in our own strength.  But adoration, especially in Jesus, invites us to seek His face.  And it is in His presence that trust allows us to live in peace, because even the winds and waves obey Him.

We learn (and not saying it's easy by any means) to not live by worldly fear (intimidation) by learning to fear God (adoration). It is in worship of the good, Almighty God - reminding ourselves of who He is and what He has done that helps us to overcome fear. First, though, to deal with the guilt of "too little faith", I think the first step of worship is just acknowledgement of the problem and our need for Jesus. "God, I'm in over my head, and I need You." Worship is more than just singing. It's more than what we do in the good times. It is also turning to Jesus in the hard times.
       I've been there- wondering if I'm supposed to bring this great big faith. But what does Jesus ask for? Faith as small as a mustard seed. That is a small seed! We come to Him; He provides the way. And what grace! Even Jesus is already reaching out to us!! Sometimes we doubt, because in the past we have been hurt or disappointed, but God is faithful to honor His Word. It may not be on our timing, or in the way we would like, but God is still true, just, good, and righteous. As I mentioned before, when we remember who God is and what He has done, it gives us faith for our present struggle.
     And I know that in different seasons, we still can get intimidated. I wish when we got saved, it all got figured out. But God reveals His magnitude over time. When we walk with Jesus, I think we find that we progress in our faith in Him. Even if it is one step at a time. What the amazing thing about Jesus is how He invites us to pray, "Help me in my unbelief." We don't have to deny our doubts. We can come before Him boldly, and when we lay our concerns, He is such a loving Father who cares for us in our moments of need.