To What Kind of Man be Drawn?

      Can’t blame a girl for trying, can ya’?  Sure, I knew that going to another country the likelihood of meeting someone I could genuinely be interested in - and want to develop a relationship with - was slim.  Nevertheless, while in Mexico, I did see that my eyes caught sight of someone…and I did eventually say, “Hello.”  But we only had one conversation, no goodbyes were said, and he’s not on social media, as far as I know.  A dead road.  Shucks.  And I would be more discouraged if it wasn’t for the hope in the midst of this conversation.     I regretfully admit that I have run after men who had no business catching my attention.  Cute, sure.  Funny?  Yes.  Even have had good conversations.  But in the measure of their character, there was some lacking.  Moreover, I have had this perpetual belief that I would have to be the one to take the reins in living a fulfilling life.  As if, I would have the vision, and my future husband would just have to play a supporting role, because they have no vision of their own.  Doesn’t help that I also have believed that the only man that would ever be attracted to me is one that has to look for external inspiration (such as a woman) to step into the things of God.     But this man…He was sharing what his work was.  And he was alive while talking.  I could tell he actually enjoyed what he did.  I almost imagined what it would be like for me to teach beside a man like him doing what he does.  Could it work?  And yet, for the moment, I realized…whether or not this man was “the one”, I wanted that kind of man.  The man who - with or without a woman - was walking out the calling God had placed on his life and was thoroughly enjoying it.  He did not need me to be obedient to what God put in his soul.     Quite a lesson for myself, actually.  The truth is that I also wondered if I have put myself in a corner, because I have believed (or wished) to not step into certain things unless I was married.  In thinking about this man, I did have to pause and wonder, “Am I really willing to develop feelings for a man who is in another country?”  Moreover, and more importantly, “Would I be willing to move to another country if this relationship was getting serious?”     Yes, I would.  This is starting to go into what kind of implications can result when I am willing to move beyond the present dreams I’ve boxed myself in.  Nevertheless, I want to reiterate that when it comes to romantic relationships, how beautiful a blessing it was to have an example that I do not have to settle for the mediocre.  I know I am getting tired of being passed up.  I’m sometimes discouraged when it seems like all the men in the church are married, dating, not interesting, or not healthy.  But selling out my relationship with Jesus and the calling on my life (wherever that may take me) is not worth gaining a man who is not alive in his identity as a child of God.     I need to speak more on what happened in Mexico.  But I am challenged to walk in my calling no matter what.  I need to stop making a stipulation that I have to be married to step into certain places or to explore different desires.  I have Jesus, and if He is opening certain doors, I need to stop refusing.  And lastly, thank You, God, for showing me it is possible to meet a man who enjoys what he is doing!