Reflections from a 2015 Invasion

 From September 17, 2015
     

     My emotions have been swirling the last couple of days due to something that happened on Facebook.  In short, a man sent me a very inappropriate message (he asked to have sex with me for $100, and to video it).  Then, I found out that he did the same thing to one of my students.  I have felt disgusted, sad, angry, and lastly, I felt hatred.  It's not wrong to be angry; I know I'm angry for all the right reasons.  But anytime I thought about this guy, I felt a temper rise, and would imagine what I'd do if I could see him.
     But God says that "Vengeance is mine." (Romans 12:19).  So, according to the Bible, I'm supposed to forgive this guy.  Not as easy as it sounds.  Like I said, every time I thought about what happened, I would either become sad or angry.  However, finally letting God know the honesty of how I truly felt, I realized that I had to forgive him, and let God.  Sin is sin, and all separate us from our Heavenly Creator Father; all are in need of His mercy.  This man is not my enemy; the perversion that's seeded in him is.  This man is just a pawn...
     Don't get me wrong.  I still want justice.  I want this man found, caught, tried and finally, put away.  I wish what happened, didn't, but I know that God is greater than any of the devil's schemes.  Nevertheless, in the span of eternity, I hope that this man will be able to come to know Jesus Christ.
     I wrote a poem, and it has helped me heal, and I hope that it can help others heal as well.  If anyone has questions, I understand. Go ahead and ask.  God bless.

“Dissipate the Rage that Wants to Hate”
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” –Romans 12:21

He asked for my body;
He offered a price.
Now, I hear that he’s gone after my sisters;
He’s asked for our daughters.

I am grieved.
How dare this man define our worth as women
To be found in the bedroom?
To shame us to believe our hearts will never be desired.
Though he spoke through a cyber-screen,
How dare he introduce fear, making us look
Over our shoulders at night, making sure
No one is following?

I am angry.
Righteous indignation is rising
For purity wronged;
For innocence gone.
I wish I could have shielded my sisters
From such a monster.
What I wish I could do if I met him…
Abba Daddy, my hands carry a deep red rage.

But I know.
My war is not with flesh.
But God, it sure is hard to not hate
An enemy with a face.
How do you pray for someone who preyed on us?
I know I should forgive, but I don’t know if I can.
I desire Justice.
God will You be it?

Broken heart, realize
Mercy was given to the undeserved.
Oh, how deep a wound
We hold in all humanity’s soul!
How massive the grace
Found on the cross
Covered with blood not meant to save
Just the sinners that were “good” like me.