I really set myself up, going into my internship. Though I had let go of the idea that I had to be married to be happy or fulfilled - finally understood that my life could be well spent even if I had no family of my own - I still joked that maybe I would meet someone. Well, there was this one guy…of course, this is my telling of our tale, but finally sharing the love story that God has written for me remains to be a blessing and privilege.
Jerrad Coons would tell you that the very day I walked through the doors of Destination Church on September 18, 2022, he was completely smitten. For me, it didn’t take too much longer. Within a month, most specifically, when our church had a game night, I took notice of him, as well. His long hair, beautiful and dark brown eyes, and the tattoos told me that this guy was not your “suit ‘em up” kind of man. Quiet, but very observant. I thought him cute. But wisdom told me that I needed to make an acquaintance of this man to see if the first impressions were matching up. Furthermore, my heart at this time was still holding onto the hope of going back to the Rez. It was ill-suited to stir up a romance if I was going to leave, anyway.
As my internship went on, I was cleaning the church, and when I needed someone to take over those duties as I increased my school subbing, my pastor suggested that I contact Jerrad. With the two of us, the cleaning would have been finished in two hours. In reality, it took double the time, because…well, we talked. And talked quite a bit. Mostly minor things, but usually centered on background family life, as well as thoughts on politics, the Bible and ministry. I really liked cleaning the church with Jerrad, and noticed that I was looking forward to Sundays a bit more, as well.
I kept this all under wraps, however. Again, if I was going to leave - which I still believed that I was as of February 2023 - then why keep stirring things up? God was revealing that I needed to let go of the Rez, but frankly, I was still holding onto old hopes and dreams. Nevertheless, even if my interests were masked to the man himself, I told my brother and my mentor. And, boy, the mercy they gave me. Every little thing that Jerrad said or did, I questioned, “Does he like me?” My brother just met Jerrad as of last Friday, but he has known about my interest for a year now. My mentor wanted me to work through this Bible study on breaking free from old wounds, but almost every week we met, I HAD to bring up this guy I couldn’t keep my mind off.
It wasn’t the bad boy that I was interested in. Okay. Maybe not completely. There was something about him that I could tell he was rough around the edges. I have grown up knowing that I wanted to do missions and probably wouldn’t have your usual picket-fence kind of life. I wanted the forgotten ones. And the man that I wanted to marry had to be someone who wanted to go after those who people would otherwise be discarded. He had to not be afraid of the shadows. My heart also needed a safe place where I could discuss matters important to faith and health, but also cheerful enough to make me laugh.
One of my favorite memories when we cleaned the church consisted of him finding a homeless man camped out behind our building. “Laura, what should we do?” I suggested we do what our pastor has often done: while having to evict the person we could offer a cup of hot coffee or water. On the way to giving the man water, Jerrad piped up, “If we get shot, it’s been real!” Ha ha!! I still laugh about it (and for family and friends - Jerrad would have made sure that he would have protected me).
Jerrad and I remained as friends at church all through my internship. The irony is that I never caught on to his interest in me. Even when he would act like he was going to trip me, while I was cleaning. Even with his willingness to help with whatever I needed. Even when he gave me two packs of gum. Okay. That actually made me wonder, but I was told friends give friends gifts. Even going into the summer and while we hung out, I held onto my secret, but I figured we were just friends.
We would go for walks. I’d call him up to help me move things into my new apartment. We even would have dinner together. Now, this is where men would laugh and go, “Yeah, that’s a date,” but I still had no clue! Maybe it was naivety or being a blonde, but while I liked this amazing man, I only hoped he liked me back. Then August 14th came up.
There was an ultimate frisbee game, and as the evening grew into night, Jerrad and I remained at the park while everyone else left. Seated, Jerrad asked me, “Why do you like to hang out with me?”
“Because I think you are cool,” I replied. He wasn’t buying it. “No, really. Why do you like to hang out with me? And don’t just say ‘because I’m cool’.” I answered truthfully, “I enjoy your company and being able to talk with you. And I feel protected and safe with you.” Our conversation continued on, and I mentioned something about men with long hair, and beards. “Well, that answers my third question,” Jerrad commented.
“What’s your third question,” I asked.
“What kind of men are you interested in?”
“Why do you want to know?” (See how I beat around the bush? Truth is, I wanted to tell Jerrad I liked him, but I wanted him to be the first to say it.) With a deep breath, he finally confessed, “Because I like you and I think you are cute... I had a crush on you since you came, and I don’t just think you are cute. I think you are beautiful.” It was out in the air, and the romantic I am, I responded, “Ditto.” We talked some more and connected the dots over the last year. We revealed how we tried to show we liked each other, and how we still were trying to keep it under wraps. Relieved to know we share the same interest, we decided at that moment that we would date exclusively.
It didn’t take long for me to fall for Jerrad. Even by Labor Day, I was asking God if it was too early to admit that I loved him. In my waiting, I figured out what kind of man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with; moreover, the kind of man I needed. I wanted a man who I could have shared interests and shared values. I wanted a man who had a hospitality heart, and was willing to help. I wanted a man whom I can discuss anything with, especially my faith. Growing up, feeling like I was too much when I tried to discuss faith, it was such a safe place to find that Jerrad and I talked about what God was teaching each of us, as well as things that we identified as needs for our neighborhood.
I wanted a man who was willing to move where God is calling us. I needed a man who has a compassionate heart, but could also help curb my overextension in ministry involvement, and to focus on the actual thing God is proposing for us. I needed a man who treated me with care and the utmost respect - and boy, does he ever! I wanted a man who was down to earth and willing to step up. I wanted a man who wanted to reach out to the unwanted. I wanted a man who was willing to develop his own relationship with Jesus, with and without me. I wanted a man whom I could have an adventure of a life with, extending out to neighbors. And in all of these things, Jerrad is.
This last weekend, Jerrad asked for permission from my dad for my hand. My father said yes, and soon after, so did I. We are hoping to be married in the springtime. I know that for friends and family, this seems all of a sudden. Might feel rushed. And yet, things were clicking, and they continue to click. On a regular basis, I am amazed at what kind of man Jerrad Dean Coons is, and who God is growing him to be. He will tell you he is still learning, but both of us are. Neither of us are perfect - for no human is - but we have found that we are each other’s perfect fit, and I am excited to spend the rest of my life with him.
As I look back on our story, I also see God at work in my own life, personally. I remember being in my 20s wondering if there was something wrong with me, because I wasn’t getting hitched. I wondered how much I had to mature spiritually before I was fit to be wed. Men had caught my eye, but all for the wrong reasons, and it was God’s protection that nothing ever progressed into an actual relationship. I am so thankful that in the waiting, God revealed the perfect man for me.
Engaged on October 6, 2023
And perfectly, like in God’s fashion, He went above and beyond what I asked or thought (see Ephesians 3:20). For me, the fact that Jerrad sees me - not just as cute, but beautiful - whether I’m in jeans, a dress, or even in my sports shorts is incredible. I thought I had to fit into a specific box to be seen as feminine, but he already sees me as such. And yes, he loves cooking and cleaning! Now, I’m not going to put all the household duties on him. In fact, we like the idea of cooking and dividing house chores evenly. Nevertheless, here was a man who didn’t expect me to be the stereotypical woman to be worthy of his love. My character, personality and how I carried myself - the way that God intended - was enough for him.
I am so happy, but I am so thankful for how God worked in my love story. It wasn’t like the chick flicks would write, but it was perfect. I am grateful that Jerrad and I began our acquaintances as friends, and had that foundation as we progressed getting to know one another. And he really has become my best friend. We can talk about anything, ask questions, and inquire together how God wants to lead. I absolutely love it! And as we have engaged ourselves to be married, now we have begun dreaming, wondering what God has in store for us. Only time will tell what God has yet to reveal.
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