Just the Memories

     

     Yesterday, I found out a friend from high school, passed away.  They were such a great friend.  However, since graduation, we went our separate ways, including how we looked at life, and possibly faith.  This was a very dear friend, at one time, but that is no more.  Wasn't for a long time.  How do you find comfort in the loss of a friend when eternity is at stake?  It may just be in the memories I have.

We used to be friends.
We used to be allies.
Shared in one another’s hopes,
Dreamt of the future, and
Prayed that God would move
In our present.

But as seconds became years,
Shifting missions created divisions.
We had so thick a silence
Until we accepted our differences
And could care for each other,
But from a distance.

I just heard
You exhaled your final curtain call
While the moon shown
The light of a hope
Of the coming dawn;
You would never see it.

Now, all that remains
Are just the memories:
The laughter and conversations
Becoming a vague screen write.
All that remains
Are just the wonderings
Of lives lived alternatively
Than what pains drove us apart.
What would have been
If we learned to say “hello”
Before wishing “goodbye”?
At least we had our hello
Before our farewells were
Never uttered.
Or maybe that day was meant
To be a sweet goodbye,
Though I didn’t know.

The most painful sting
From your loss,
However,
Is not knowing if I can hope.
Not knowing if you will
Be able to take your final bow;
Not knowing if
The intellect translated to faith.
Not knowing if I will again
See your face, and enjoy
The memory of your name.

That most of all is why
I mourn,
Perhaps without solace,
My dear, little brother.
Maybe there is comfort,
But only in
Just the memories.