I wonder if...
Love is more than
Correcting someone,
Informing them how to
Love me better
And making me
Comfortable.
I wonder when
I say
"I love you,"
It is more than
A response to
Fuzzy feelings.
Rather, it is
The intent
To communicate
"I care for you,
For you."
To love someone unconditionally...to embrace them in the good times, as well as in the hard times...sometimes it means letting go. Letting go in a way that gives the room for a person to either grow or leave, on their own volition. So often, we keep people close that we should rather give space, because we think that is the loving thing. However, in keeping that closeness, we simultaneously refrain from putting up boundaries that would cultivate true safety in a relationship, and instead, bend to their behavior thinking our understanding, accommodating and 'care' is somehow going to inspire change. However, the opposite often results.
We enable the bad behavior and allow room for it to stay when we fail to take a stand. I think I am finally realizing the truth in how one cannot love others if they do not know how to love themselves first. Biblically, "love others as you love yourself (Matthew 22:39)". Frankly, if we are trying so hard for the unhealthy to be removed while simultaneously trying to keep the person, we end up controlling them. And when that doesn't work. resentment will build. So often we want the good to happen that we try to force it prematurely, rather than wait for what God has.
Learn to let them go, and let them have what they want. They will either continue their downward spiral or come to realize any error and change. But in letting go, you also realize how there may have been a personal error in trying to force someone to become what/who they weren't ready or desiring to be. And how is it loving to mold them into your image and box? So often we try to control things that only the Holy Spirit can change. When we step into the cycle of nagging or codependency, I believe that we then have elevated the other person to the level of God, demanding that they are the ones ultimately responsible for our happiness or fulfillment in life.
Recently, I feel like God has been teaching me how not to be led by fear, but by love. A couple days ago in my Bible reading time (and having then read about the fear of the Lord), a curious, but very impactful thought came to my mind. When we are afraid, is it a sort of reverence for the problem or concern? Beth Moore has once said that we can make something into an idol even when we obsess or fear it. It's the matter that we fear - or give reverence - before the precedence of Jesus.
We can be so fearful, intimidated, that we choose not to do something when we should. This is why fear (the bad kind) is counter to love. Because by having a reverence (or, in other words, an awe; think being awestruck...what are we struck in awe over?) for the problem, it runs counter to the heart of God. Reverence and a fear of God helps release control and puts a full trust in Him. It's a holy fear that actually draws people near, and encourages us to reach out to others. But when we are led by a worldly fear, it takes the opposite affect. In giving control (power) to the problem, we become a slave and retreat.
We all will fear something or someone. But to whom or what we fear will determine who we will give control over. It is a lie to think we'll ever be the one to be in total control. We are never big enough to handle our storms , and that is why we need to be anchored to Jesus. And we don't have to be afraid when we fear (have an awe, reverence) Jesus, because we are willingly giving control to the One who we know is true, righteous, just and good.
Fear is a reverence and a form of worship, and it will come either as adoration or intimidation. Intimidation will tell us to hide our faces; deceiving us to believe that we can protect ourselves in our own strength. But adoration, especially in Jesus, invites us to seek His face. And it is in His presence that trust allows us to live in peace, because even the winds and waves obey Him.
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into heaven’s kingdom. It is only those who persist in doing the will of my heavenly Father. On the day of judgment many will say to Me, “Lord, Lord, don’t You remember us? Didn’t we prophesy in Your name? Didn’t we cast out demons and do many miracles in Your name? But I will have to say to them, ‘Go away from Me, you lawless rebels! I’ve never been joined with you!’” - Matthew 7:21-23, TPT
If there was ever a passage in the Bible that literally scared the hell out of me, it was this one. I had accepted Jesus as my Savior at 10 years old, made a lifelong faith commitment entering Freshman year, but I remember growing up with a fear that I was putting on an act. I only thought I was saved. And this reference only seemed to confirm my suspicions, because the text described people who were doing things that Christians were supposed to be doing! They were acting as witnesses of Jesus and introducing the kingdom of heaven to this world. But these people were going to be turned away from heaven! How could I be sure I was saved, if my life looked exactly like individuals who weren’t?
There was also a bigger question at hand. What was the will of God on my life? Growing up in church, there was a big “what will you be when you grow up”- understanding “the call” - incentive to Christian maturity. We emphasized doing great things for God, stepping out of our comfort circles, frontiering uncharted places with the gospel, and sacrificing lives to make the news of Jesus known. All of these things are well and good, but I think those who considered themselves with more humble means or lives wondered if their faith was as big as the ones who were traveling across seas, and having books written about.
The irony of it all, is that I think after emphasizing the actions of a Christian life, and there was an additional fear that if we ended up doing the wrong call, we would have suddenly realized too late that we failed God. Yeah, that was a thing. And reading passages like the one above not only seemed to support this notion, but would even encourage questioning our own salvation (or maybe I was the only one?). How could I EVER know that I was truly adopted through Jesus, and that I was doing what God wanted in my life? The lie that most Christians have bought into is that the will of God - or what others may call, the work of God- is predominately about what we do. However, as I have reflected on this passage, and others, I have found that the will of God is grounded in our relationship with Him, rather than how much we can do for Him.
While reading John for my devotions was what changed my perception about what the will of God pertains to. In John 6, Jesus had fed the 5,000 (men counted), and walked on the Galilean Sea with the disciples. As they reached the shore, people gathered, and the following discourse was made:
“26 Jesus answered them and said, “Most assuredly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled. 27 Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal on Him.” 28 Then they said to Him, “What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?” 29 Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.” 30 Therefore they said to Him, “What sign will You perform then, that we may see it and believe You? What work will You do? 31 Our fathers ate the manna in the desert; as it is written, ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’ ” 32 Then Jesus said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, Moses did not give you the bread from heaven, but My Father gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” 34 Then they said to Him, “Lord, give us this bread always.” 35 And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst. 36 But I said to you that you have seen Me and yet do not believe. 37 All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will [a]by no means cast out. 38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. 39 This is the will of the Father who sent Me, that of all He has given Me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up at the last day. 40 And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day.” (John 6:26-40) Verse 29 hit me like a magnet! The work (or will) of God was to believe in the One whom the Father sent? You mean, it wasn’t just about what I could do? And in case I thought I read it wrong, the point was emphasized in verse 40, as well. The will of God was that those who believe would have eternal life. Belief - faith - was the work and will of God. We will get to the matter of our works later, but we need to understand that our salvation doesn’t start there. That is what the people were missing back in the Matthew 7 passage. Because if our works were the definition of our salvation, then every person that cast out demons would have a clear way to heaven. Every person who prophesied or did miracles wouldn’t have to do a self-check on where they were in regards to God Himself. But miracles don’t cut it. Signs and wonders will lead people to a knowledge about Jesus, but it doesn’t necessarily mean an automatic relationship with God. The crowd had already witnessed a mighty work of God, but they still begged Jesus to do more to prove His Messianic claim. And if Jesus “couldn’t” do enough miracles to convince everyone to be saved, why then, do we make following the will of God about how much we can do? (Note: Jesus DID point out how whomever the Father gave Him would not be snatched (see John 6:37). My emphasis is how much, pardon the pun, we put emphasis about how much we do.) It is about relationship. In fact, it is the relationship with Jesus that makes a difference in people’s lives. Do you know the story of the sons of Sceva? While Paul was ministering in Ephesus, some young men thought it would be cool to try their own hand at miracles, and when these sons of a Jewish priest attempted to cast out the demon, one of them cried out, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are you? (Acts 19:15)” Wow! Because they didn’t have a relationship with Jesus, they lacked authority to cast this demon out. Now, that would bring up the question as to, “How come every nonbeliever who doesn’t actually have a relationship with Jesus doesn’t get ousted like those young men back in Acts 19?” Good question, because it sure would make things easier if it did. Wouldn’t it? After all, if every demon retaliated against every false preacher or narrative, we would know quite easily who to trust and who not to. We probably would have less church scandals too. With all that said, I have to say, I don’t know the full answer. My own thoughts, but I wonder if part of the reason is sometimes God sovereignly makes demons obey His name, for the sake of the person being delivered over the public ousting of a nonChristian. Paul says in Philippians 1:18 (see 12-18 for full context), “What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is preached, and in this I rejoice, yes, and I will rejoice.” Another component is that I wonder - again, my own thoughts, here - if by having every nonbeliever have a fallout, then we would get used to judging people by their outcome. Humans are already good at doing that. We judge people as it must be their fault if a goal wasn’t reached or if an unexpected pain entered their lives. Christians aren’t immune. Ministries fail. Pastors fall. Hardships come to the righteous and wicked; to the sinner and the saint. So if every negativity was a hint to the unbeliever, I think we would fall (again) to the prey of judging our neighbor. And that isn’t lifegiving at all. Moreover, the only one who can judge the heart is God Himself. So, with that, we must look at the life of a person through the lens of if they are a believer or not. Do they have a relationship with Jesus? Now, I think many Christians may be at odds with what I am writing, because they may wonder if I am saying it’s all about relationship and that our actions don’t count. “What about when Paul said that just because we have grace, we shouldn’t be okay with sin (see Romans 6:1-2)? What about what it says in James about SHOWING our faith by our works (see James 2:14-26)?” Great question! Going back to Matthew 7:14-20, Jesus warned people to assess people by the fruit of their character. In other words, their actions would speak as a testament to their faith, and also of their character. It is important that the work of Jesus is transforming our lives. James agrees with this, as well, and uses Abraham as an example. Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him as righteousness. What James adds is how Abraham was willing to obey God and sacrifice his son, because he believed God. And I think that is key. Abraham believed, therefore he obeyed God by sacrificing his son (don’t worry; God gave a ram to replace the sacrifice and Isaac lived). Rahab believed, therefore she obeyed God and hid the Hebrew messengers. We believe in Christ first, then we obey. We engage with our Heavenly Father, then we do what He says. The will of God isn’t without work. But the first step is putting our trust in the work of Jesus. Without that, there is nothing to add. It will just be dead works. It will just be us trying to earn our way into God’s pleasure. Whatever good we think we accomplished will be a foundation of sand ready to be overrun by the hurricane of life (see Matthew 7:24-27). The sure foundation we stand on must be what Jesus has done for us. Christians often preach about grace. It is often stated how faith is the only “entrance fee” into heaven. But when growing in discipleship, we then get into nitty gritty conversations of asking people what they think God has called them to, and it can be a lot of pressure. Especially since God doesn’t often give us a whole blueprint of our entire lives, all at once. Rather, He gives us one command at a time, one step at a time. And sometimes what God’s will is for a given season isn’t what our society prizes. I remember when I took a year off after moving from the Rez. I mean - no work, just sitting at home and choosing to have in-depth Bible reading and journaling for a year. It made NO sense to do this. Teacher by trade, and having grown up in the church, I thought I should be doing something. I told God, “Aren’t I supposed to be about my Father’s business?!” “And what if My business is sitting at My feet,” He replied. I had my answer and I obeyed. What I was supposed to be doing was to rest and enjoy my heavenly Father. Lord knows that I had forgotten what it meant to be His daughter, and if that was forgotten, then I wouldn’t have been a good witness of Jesus no matter what school I taught in. Thing is…I knew that was the right step for me, because I had a relationship with my Father. The year after that, I participated in an internship. Again, as an adult in her 30s, it made no sense. I should have gotten back into gear with teaching and working. But, again, in relationship with my Father, I knew that I needed that second year to get grounded in the very essence of the gospel. I had learned so much about what I “should” do, I forgot about Who it was all for. In my internship, I learned a lot about purposeful work. And purposeful work is when after I have spent time with my Father, He then tells me the steps to go forward. It’s in obedience that one knows they are following the call on their life. In summary, there are two things to look for: relationship with Jesus and obedience. Can you say that you honestly have a relationship with the One who died for you, cleansed you of your sins and provided a way to spend eternal life with the Creator of all things? Or do you think of as proof of your relationship consist of all the good works you can do for God (signs and wonders still included, but how often do we go to church or read our Bibles, because we hope God will finally smile on us…those ARE good things, but not all what defines our salvation)? Secondly, what is the call of God on your life, in this season? This is the big question, but mind you, God often leads with one step at a time. When I wanted a big prophetic word from a conference about my post-intern plans, all I got was one simple phrase to refer back to the previous thing God told me to do. The call of God isn’t a big hoopla of having to do “great exploits''. It is about being faithful where God has positioned you. Maybe you’re supposed to move across the ocean. Maybe you’re supposed to go into full-time ministry. But maybe you’re supposed to be a teacher. Or maybe work a blue-collar job and be a faithful parent at home. All of these are good, if that is where God is leading. Step out in faith and obey. I want to encourage you, that if you haven’t done so, or haven't done so in a long time, run to Jesus and (re)ignite that relationship with Him. Again, it doesn’t have to be this spectacle (in fact, please don’t. Jesus had a lot to say about trying to make worship into a show). Just come as you are. He loves you, and His pleasure in you isn’t based on how much you can do for Him. You are already the delight of His heart. And when you have spent time with Him, He will speak. Have faith in that.
Please don't
Walk away,
Even for
A moment.
I need you
To stand by
My side.
Even if you stay
Silent
For this moment.
I need you
Here.
Time will tell
What truth to this threat
Reveals; until then,
Please don't
Leave me alone.
Please don't
Abandon me
To a possible invasion
Of our love.
I grew up
With people
Who grew silent
In the face of threats.
Scared of what demons
Could be unleashed
In anger, they became mute
When their words
Were the protection I needed.
I grew silent myself, wondering
Where and why
My guardians chose to reside
Instead of beside me.
In their absence,
I was left to words that stung
Like wolves with teeth like daggers.
You wonder how you may lead.
You wonder if I will give you the chance.
I want to.
But will you be my guard
When another may undermine
What we have?
I need you to stand.
Even if
You are silent
Until God gives you the strength
And words to confront;
Until then I can speak,
But will you stand
Beside my body so
He has no chance
To think he may have a chance?
Treasures are meant
To be protected.
So, will you please
Take a stand
Beside me?
I know a fire
Brews inside you,
And you fear
You will cease to contain it.
The grace God has given you
Has been emptied for an enemy.
But could God give you the courage
To stand and pray when you
Have run out?
Could God give you the heart
For redemption
In the way it was given you?
Is your fleeing
Because God has been speaking,
Or out of fear?
I know
Neither of us
Can do this
Alone.
In this moment,
I feel surrounded
By pain.
Yet, I know
Even in my tears,
Our Father is surrounding us.
I don't know
What the answer should be
Or how long we must battle.
What I do know is
We will win
When we are together.
 |
| Taken from a Facebook post |
Tongues aren't gibberish. I agree. They are a holy language between a person and God. It is a way to speak to God, when we do not know what to pray (Romans 8; 1 Corinthians 14). Prophecy - as vague impressions, can allow for someone to have a word of knowledge to explain what is on God's heart. Prophecy is not a "Christian form of fortune telling". Moreover, when I have seen prophetic words given, mostly, it isn't in a vague impression. The way that God gives me a word is often a Scripture, and then I ask God what He is wanting to say. Sometimes we want more specific words; my experience has shown me that a prophetic word has been just a step of direction, but not a complete blueprint of God's plan. And it is also meant to be coupled with confirming words (to back the 2-3 witnesses needed). Prophetic words are not scriptural, so yes, they need to be weighed and prayed through/for. Prophecy is hearing what is on God's heart to speak to people.
As for healing...this is a tough one, because I think so many people have been hurt. I can't tell you how many times I went up to be prayed for to be healed, and my hand is the same. It is very easy to say that healing must happen automatically. Or, to spare ourselves from disappointment, we simply pray, "God, if it is Your will," and create a safe prayer. I think God honors bold prayers. This isn't to say we should do what some charismatics have done which is "name it and claim it". Rather, I can see what God has done, and I say, "God, I ask..." knowing that His timeline for healing is broader than my own. But I still am hopeful and expectant. God does heal in progress, in heaven, but I have seen Him immediately. I have seen shoulders healed, a student come out of a car accident alive when they should have died immediately, rheumatoid arthritis disappear, and even my own leg grew.
I think - and I may be incorrect about this - that many who side on that the charismatic gifts being unbiblical, or dead are 1) from a Western perspective and/or 2) have been hurt in some way by people who have used those gifts immaturely or incorrectly. On the Western perspective- we have grown so reliant on our technology and intellectualism - especially with the matter of enlightenment and atheism abounding, why else would we need God to move in great ways? We can just think about "what should be said". But those in nonWestern cultures, I don't know...hey understand there is a spiritual realm, and therefore, need spiritual intervening. I know we, in America, do still have need of Jesus - and we find ourselves in great distress, which leads to my second point.
We often have been hurt when the gifts have been used incorrectly or immaturely. Incorrect, meaning there is intention to harm, immature due to people really wanting to share God's love and heart, but may have misspoke, misheard, or misunderstood. God is perfect, and there is no error in Him. But, we still being human, still can fail. We have been saved by grace, and we work through grace. But we see and know in part (see end of 1 Corinthians 13). That is why prophetic words are to be weighed. I have often felt prophetic words are supposed to be used to confirm what God is already saying, not necessarily supposed to be the starting point. When we use the prophetic as the start, then we decide to make it into a fortune telling. Words of knowledge are a means to pray for someone, and if led to share, do so that will bring Christ's love and grace into the conversation. And ALWAYS, when sharing, I don't say, "God said", but rather, "I feel God is saying....does this make sense". This allows people to give room for the Holy Spirit to check and weigh the word. I was in Mexico last February, and received prophetic words and words of knowledge that were ON POINT. And these people spoke a different language, and never met me. There is NO WAY they could have known my heart for missions, other than that God - because HE knows me - revealed that. And the thing about prophetic words...like healings, their fruits are not always immediate.
I think that is where we often make the mistake. And I do understand that in the Bible, Jesus healed and it was immediate. But what of the man who was blind, and the first time that he was prayed for, he saw people as if they were trees? What of the man who was healed when Peter and John prayed for him (Acts 4); he waited 38 YEARS for healing- and I bet you, he prayed. It doesn't mean that God didn't want to heal, but God's glory - in the healing - was for a set appointed time. And God's glory is still revealed even in the waiting (see Hebrews 11). We want God to work so much NOW and in certain ways, that if God speaks or moves, we either cynically say, "FINALLY, God did something [scoffing attitude]," or we can miss it altogether.
God still moves. I know it, scripturally (are we going to deny 1 Corinthians 12-16?), as well as through experience. People have walked in those gifts wrong; and yes, I have been hurt too, but I have seen it done right, with care and compassion and wisdom. Now, this is the purpose of those gifts: I believe they are needed, because God still remains the God He was, and He desires to show His love and grace even in tangible ways. I believe He remains a relational God who still speaks (and note: prophetic words are NOT to counter Scripture, and if they are specific, then carry with a soft hand) and wants to communicate with His people. Most of all, they are to glorify Him and introduce Him to people. And walking with Him, the Holy Spirit continues to speak (it's not just to get people saved).
I have learned to be dependent on God, and I have grown to trust Him, and ask Him for bold things. But I also trust that my Daddy is sovereign and will take care of things, even if it's not exactly how I had asked for. This includes timing, specific places, people, and ways. But I can say that I know that the gifts are needed in that they help share the Gospel. This isn't to promise that if people believe in Jesus, all there problems will be resolved, but God speaking and continuing to heal reveal God's heart for us.
