Kindred

A biological necessity that connects
Humanity between generations.
A bloodline that bridges into
The edges of the earth.
An association by name
And based on familiarity.

Maybe the expectations
Surpass reality.
Perhaps the desires
Undermine the actuality of life.
But I was taught Ohana;
No one gets left behind.
Nevertheless, entertainment is full of
Fiction - a form of escape;
Why should I be surprised
That my family doesn't look
Like the ones on screen?

Granted I have both of my parents.
Got a mom, and a dad 
Who stuck around too.
Got a name and was claimed -
A piece of paper proves it so.
But when grown and the tears flowed,
I was told to get over it soon.
Our faith, I was charged to hold
The banner of His praise.
Left to my own surmises,
A miracle I never became 
A tragic happening.
Now that I'm on my own,
How shall I be defined?

The intentions of my relationships
Are blurred between sincere and toxic.
Emotional lacerations left scars,
But I failed to take PT.
Now any person comes
And I pray that they can help me
Forget the past sins,
Or I withhold trust, knowing 
They could never carry me.
Never satisfied, always groping,
Wishing I could be loved
Like I should have been.
Who can be my family
When my family was no where 
To be reached?
But I'm 32 years old; what's the fuss?

Don't I know that not everyone
Will be in my inner circle?
An adult, wouldn't you think
I'd know by now to no longer 
Be a victim?
I'm alone, yet, but I got Jesus.
As a Christian,
That should be enough
Right?
...Right?

Acquaintances may be counted
But friends are limited.
Somehow, blood dictates intimacy.
So, when blood fails in its connection, 
How can my old be made new?
I know Jesus is the answer,
But could His answer for the orphan
Be a new company?
Even the Father wrote 
Adoption papers with an imbrued pen.